


Ice Cream

by LillysoftheValley



Series: Allsorts - A Collection of Assorted GO Ficlets [6]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Awkward Dates, Birds, Established Relationship, Fluff, Food, Gen, Humor, Ice Cream, One Shot, Seagulls - Freeform, seagulls stealing food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:14:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23363032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LillysoftheValley/pseuds/LillysoftheValley
Summary: One of the days from Ineffable Inktober added here because I think it's fun!A nice summer day at the pier will be fun, they said. Have some ice cream, they said. They should have stayed at the park.Inspired bythis sketchby the wonderfully talented @lordazazel23. Bring up 'seagull steals ice cream' in your fave search engine to get the full cinematic experience.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Allsorts - A Collection of Assorted GO Ficlets [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1650484
Kudos: 10





	Ice Cream

Brighton Pier was, in retrospect, not the best place for an over anxious demon and a fastidious angel to spend an afternoon. Overall, there were too many people, too much noise, quite enough sin already, and too many birds.

Crowley had initially thought it would make a nice change from the park and the ducks, and Aziraphale had, of course, been enticed by the idea that someone would actually appreciate his sleight of hand skills. In theory, they may have been right. In practice, it was rather disastrous.

The first mistake was deciding to get an ice cream first thing. Perhaps if they had waited, they may actually have been able to see some of the pier. Crowley got himself two 99's (because gluttony was the obvious indulgence) and a cherry ice lolly for Aziraphale. He turned to find him attempting to pay the unimpressed vendor by pulling the pound coin from the man's ear. Being distracted by this, Crowley failed to notice the seagull watching him from the railing. Before he could say anything, the gull took the opportunity to attack, diving straight for the soft serve. In one swoop, the bird was on the cone, the cone was still in Crowley's hand, and Crowley was so startled he stepped backward right onto Aziraphale's foot.

This caused the angel to cry out, drop the coin he had been palming, and several others besides, right into the vat of cherries on the cart. Before he could snap his fingers to retrieve them, a second seagull joined the commotion and went for the cone in Crowley's other hand, which until that point he had been using in an attempt to drive off the first bird. Now, both hands were under attack from very sharp beaks and lots of wings so he did the most logical thing he could think of in the moment and flung both cones away.

Unfortunately, they landed at the feet of a small child also enjoying an ice cream. This caused all hell to break loose.

The child, feet now splattered with Crowley's ice cream, started to scream as the birds dove for his mint chip. The mother quickly scooped him up and headed as quickly as she could for the nearest storefront. Abandoning the ice cream, the two birds sent up a rallying cry that swelled up in answer along the pier. A veritable flock of seagulls rose up from the water and descended upon the hapless tourists. The gulls swarmed anyone holding food. Chips, crisps, popcorn, hot dogs, it was all fair game. Soon, people down the length of the pier were screaming and flapping arms and bags, trying to free themselves from the onslaught.

Crowley, for his part, at least attempted to do something to make up for throwing ice cream at a child. He strode out into a clear patch and whistled sharply. Several beady orange eyes turned in his direction and some of his conviction faltered. There was no remorse in those eyes, he told Aziraphale later. Only hunger.

Still, he was a demon and they were just birds so he stood his ground. But seagulls are not like other birds, especially those raised on Brighton Pier. Quicker than Crowley could move a finger, they were speeding towards him. Aziraphale cried for him to watch out, but it was too late and Crowley was swallowed by a cloud of screaming gulls. Arms flailing, he tripped sideways into the ice cream cart, sending it over with a clatter and a spray of sprinkles, and would have gone over the railing into the sea if Aziraphale had not grabbed him.

In the middle of all the beating wings and clacking beaks, Aziraphale and Crowley agreed it would be best to go home and in the blink of an eye they were back in the blessedly bird free bookshop. Shakily brushing feathers from their clothes, they vowed to stick to the park from now on. Aziraphale quietly mailed a suitably apologetic sum to the poor ice cream vendor and tracked down the traumatized child and relieved him of his new fear of birds. As for Crowley, he now held the ducks in a higher regard and for several weeks he avoided ice cream all together.


End file.
